Seriously...Its like being stuck in a snow globe. Did you ever see the little pixar short with the little snow man in the snow globe and his whole plot was to try to get to the beach trinket? Where the hell is my beach trinket?!
Every year I say it earlier and earlier. I am so done with snow. We have entirely too much of it already. Rumor has it more snow Christmas Eve?! Come on...is this some sort of cruel joke? I don't even want to know what January and February have in store. I feel an egging of Kevin Skarupa's house/car/very essence of his being coming on.....
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Fidelity Holiday Party - Redux
So I've been promising to do a recap of the annual mess known as the Holiday party. But due to circumstances beyond my control *cough* weather *cough* I have not been able to do so until this very day...So here it is.
Let me tell you this first...I looked fabulous. I just want to throw that out there. I bought a dress like back in October for this gala event that I absolutely had to have. I *hearted* it. ANYWAYS, the party was a bit more low key this year. Which is relative in comparison to other Holiday parties that I know of. Less people showed up, I think due to less people being employed, and the weather being as cucky as it was. But have no fear, those who were there did not disappoint.
There were numerous molestations on various dance floors, heavy alcohol consumption, and "gopher" dancing everywhere. Sorry boys, you really need to learn a new move other than the "gopher". And no grinding, or stupid silly dances (see: sprinkler) will substitute. I will still laugh though if you do it....
You know I laugh at this every year because I really think people drink so much, they forget they work with these people. Don't get me wrong, I like to drink with the best of them, I think anyone reading this can attest to that. But seriously....you WORK with these people. Day in and day out. It's one thing to get a fun little buzz....but to be sloppy, fall-down, make out with strangers drunk...well that's just embarrassing. There was a time and a place for behavior like that and that time was College.
I promised I would leave specific names out, and frankly I do not know everyone's name so those who are about to be humiliated will be spared. Overall, I must say the people I recognized from H&W were VERY well behaved this year. Kudos to all of you!! Maybe cause all of the retarded people stayed home...who knows, but those who came out were behaved. Sadly I cannot say the same for our compatriots next door. I know the stock market is in the toilet, but seriously...have some class. I saw some of the most disgusting and outlandish behavior that I am even too embarrassed to speak of here. Its very sad.....All I will say, is look out for "Mess"...she is out there, somewhere in Contra...hunting for the nearest male, female, or inanimate object...
Look for a post on Saturday I have another train wreck of a Holiday Party to go to, which may be more entertaining than this one in regards to people watching.
Lessons learned or just revisited:
~ Boys, regardless of age or alcohol intake, cannot dance. Someone prove me wrong...please
* Although please continue doing whatever move that is, it is QUITE entertaining to watch
~ Buffet lines scare me. Too many people touching my food. I do not know where their hands have been...and frankly I do not want to know.
~I love Coors light. It is my best friend and my "safe-zone"
~Never take drinks from a stranger...you never know where it came from or what kind of roofies are in it.
~ I hate my braces...I can never say that enough.
~ Dancing all night in 5 in stilettos makes the lady who does my pedicures veeeeeery mad.
~ I really do love new car smell. Like brand new car smell...not to rub it in or anything ;-)
~ Some people really do just suck...Nothing we can do to help them. I hate people who think they are above others.
~You can never hear too much Journey or Bon Jovi in any given night.
Oh and before I forget....I think maybe only my Cheese Facsimile friend, and Beef Boner in arms, may have witnessed me doing it...but I totally danced in a Soul Train line to Donna Summer. I was however much better dressed than ANYONE on Soul Train.
Don Cornelius out
Let me tell you this first...I looked fabulous. I just want to throw that out there. I bought a dress like back in October for this gala event that I absolutely had to have. I *hearted* it. ANYWAYS, the party was a bit more low key this year. Which is relative in comparison to other Holiday parties that I know of. Less people showed up, I think due to less people being employed, and the weather being as cucky as it was. But have no fear, those who were there did not disappoint.
There were numerous molestations on various dance floors, heavy alcohol consumption, and "gopher" dancing everywhere. Sorry boys, you really need to learn a new move other than the "gopher". And no grinding, or stupid silly dances (see: sprinkler) will substitute. I will still laugh though if you do it....
You know I laugh at this every year because I really think people drink so much, they forget they work with these people. Don't get me wrong, I like to drink with the best of them, I think anyone reading this can attest to that. But seriously....you WORK with these people. Day in and day out. It's one thing to get a fun little buzz....but to be sloppy, fall-down, make out with strangers drunk...well that's just embarrassing. There was a time and a place for behavior like that and that time was College.
I promised I would leave specific names out, and frankly I do not know everyone's name so those who are about to be humiliated will be spared. Overall, I must say the people I recognized from H&W were VERY well behaved this year. Kudos to all of you!! Maybe cause all of the retarded people stayed home...who knows, but those who came out were behaved. Sadly I cannot say the same for our compatriots next door. I know the stock market is in the toilet, but seriously...have some class. I saw some of the most disgusting and outlandish behavior that I am even too embarrassed to speak of here. Its very sad.....All I will say, is look out for "Mess"...she is out there, somewhere in Contra...hunting for the nearest male, female, or inanimate object...
Look for a post on Saturday I have another train wreck of a Holiday Party to go to, which may be more entertaining than this one in regards to people watching.
Lessons learned or just revisited:
~ Boys, regardless of age or alcohol intake, cannot dance. Someone prove me wrong...please
* Although please continue doing whatever move that is, it is QUITE entertaining to watch
~ Buffet lines scare me. Too many people touching my food. I do not know where their hands have been...and frankly I do not want to know.
~I love Coors light. It is my best friend and my "safe-zone"
~Never take drinks from a stranger...you never know where it came from or what kind of roofies are in it.
~ I hate my braces...I can never say that enough.
~ Dancing all night in 5 in stilettos makes the lady who does my pedicures veeeeeery mad.
~ I really do love new car smell. Like brand new car smell...not to rub it in or anything ;-)
~ Some people really do just suck...Nothing we can do to help them. I hate people who think they are above others.
~You can never hear too much Journey or Bon Jovi in any given night.
Oh and before I forget....I think maybe only my Cheese Facsimile friend, and Beef Boner in arms, may have witnessed me doing it...but I totally danced in a Soul Train line to Donna Summer. I was however much better dressed than ANYONE on Soul Train.
Don Cornelius out
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Yabba Dabba Dooooooooo
Now that I am out of the stoneage and have power again I will start posting....
Man that was the longest 4 days EVER!
Anyways, I won't post a long one now, I'll do it when I get home. Look for it tonight. It will have Holiday Party deets in it. ;-)
Man that was the longest 4 days EVER!
Anyways, I won't post a long one now, I'll do it when I get home. Look for it tonight. It will have Holiday Party deets in it. ;-)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Oops
Yesterday I managed to break not one, not two, but three out of the five rubber bands in my mouth. That must be some sort of skill, talent, or SOMETHING. Anything???
Well then came all the import and yet difficult task. Trying to replace them. If I wasn't able to do so myself, well then I would need to go back to the hospital for him to replace them. I had a sinking feeling if after 2 days of having them in, and I am already breaking them, I better learn how to replace them....and fast. So here I trudge off to the ladies room with my surgical clamp and my little baggie of impossibly small rubber bands. This should be interesting, if not comical.
*Cue the weird looks from fellow coworkers*
SUCCESS!! I am able to take them out, and put them back in aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall by myself!! Hooray!! Now I know, if I need to cram a utensil in there, I can take out the front three (trapezoid and 2 triangles) so that I don't shear them like I did the first set. It may even prolong the life of the rubber band!! weeeeeeeeeee!!
Its the little things in life that make me happy.....Or just the fact that I don't have to go back to the Elliot ;-)
Well then came all the import and yet difficult task. Trying to replace them. If I wasn't able to do so myself, well then I would need to go back to the hospital for him to replace them. I had a sinking feeling if after 2 days of having them in, and I am already breaking them, I better learn how to replace them....and fast. So here I trudge off to the ladies room with my surgical clamp and my little baggie of impossibly small rubber bands. This should be interesting, if not comical.
*Cue the weird looks from fellow coworkers*
SUCCESS!! I am able to take them out, and put them back in aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall by myself!! Hooray!! Now I know, if I need to cram a utensil in there, I can take out the front three (trapezoid and 2 triangles) so that I don't shear them like I did the first set. It may even prolong the life of the rubber band!! weeeeeeeeeee!!
Its the little things in life that make me happy.....Or just the fact that I don't have to go back to the Elliot ;-)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Don't Count Your Chickens...
Yeah and I did the other day. Damnit.
So the last post was about the trapezoid from hell. And pretty much how I some how squirmed out of getting an additional 4 rubber bands in my mouth. *Cue the surgeon*
I went to the the happiest place on earth yesterday, the Elliot, and my orthodontist had already gotten a hold of my surgeon on the topic of the moment, my double bite. He took some more photos, looked at my face, checked out my screwy bite and made possibly the WORST DECISION EVER. He added the 4 triangles of rubber bands. You scoff at it. Rubber bands aren't so bad right? hahahahahha Well the trapezoid rubber band is a big one. Easy to take out, and put in. The ones I have in from the surgeon? The band is about the size of a pinhead, and requires a tool to put in. Needless to say, these do not come out. ugh. With all of them in, I feel like I am rewired shut. Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling I have right now. Nothing.
So back to the liquid/spoon diet. I suppose that's good to have right before a couple of holiday parties I am going to. Drop any weight I have put on in the last 2 weeks pretty quickly. You always have to look at the bright side of things, as awful as it may be.
Anyways I have these triangles for AT LEAST 2 weeks. The trapezoid for another 7. I can deal with the trapezoid, but the triangles are brutal. I am hoping I can stretch them out a liiiiiiiiiittle bit in the next day or so to alleviate some of this horrid pain and to allow me to at least fit a fork in there. Come on...work with me here.
Anyways that's the latest word. I am kind of in a foul mood as a result so take note. I am hoping this immediate frustration is short lived and that I will be back to my perky self tomorrow.
Keep your fingers crossed
So the last post was about the trapezoid from hell. And pretty much how I some how squirmed out of getting an additional 4 rubber bands in my mouth. *Cue the surgeon*
I went to the the happiest place on earth yesterday, the Elliot, and my orthodontist had already gotten a hold of my surgeon on the topic of the moment, my double bite. He took some more photos, looked at my face, checked out my screwy bite and made possibly the WORST DECISION EVER. He added the 4 triangles of rubber bands. You scoff at it. Rubber bands aren't so bad right? hahahahahha Well the trapezoid rubber band is a big one. Easy to take out, and put in. The ones I have in from the surgeon? The band is about the size of a pinhead, and requires a tool to put in. Needless to say, these do not come out. ugh. With all of them in, I feel like I am rewired shut. Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling I have right now. Nothing.
So back to the liquid/spoon diet. I suppose that's good to have right before a couple of holiday parties I am going to. Drop any weight I have put on in the last 2 weeks pretty quickly. You always have to look at the bright side of things, as awful as it may be.
Anyways I have these triangles for AT LEAST 2 weeks. The trapezoid for another 7. I can deal with the trapezoid, but the triangles are brutal. I am hoping I can stretch them out a liiiiiiiiiittle bit in the next day or so to alleviate some of this horrid pain and to allow me to at least fit a fork in there. Come on...work with me here.
Anyways that's the latest word. I am kind of in a foul mood as a result so take note. I am hoping this immediate frustration is short lived and that I will be back to my perky self tomorrow.
Keep your fingers crossed
Friday, December 5, 2008
I Hate Geometry
So time for some orthodontic news....
I went to visit my friends at Amherst Ortho today. I haven't seen them in a while. I am sure they missed me. I was a bit nervous about what kind of contraption they were going to put in my mouth this time....and thankfully they did NOT disappoint.
Before I divulge into that fun let me explain my bite now...I now have 2 bites. Yes 2. One is the functional bite and one is called some fancy name, or neutral. My functional bite is the one that everyone sees every day...the normal one where I would chew, and close my mouth at. Now the Neutral bite is for example when I sleep. For most people, this is the same as the other, for me not so much. My bite slides back. Why I don't know...I just know it does. Is it bad? Again I don't know. The orthodontist told me lots of people live with a dual bite and are fine. Whether or not I can is not the issue for me...I don't want to. I just had surgery to fix a crooked bite and now I end up with another issue?!?! How the hell does that work!? Anyways I don't know how someone would correct it, I know my orthodontist wanted my surgeon's number which can never be good. Watch me end up in there again....I'll even bet on it. Damn genetics...
So after that fun news, I get elastics. Oh yes....it wasn't going to be hey here's some cucky news, see ya in a few weeks...nooooooooooo. I was supposed to wear 3 elastics, but thankfully the orthodontist had some issues with my wire and broke a bunch of brackets so I only have one...but this one is a doozy. On my top I have 2 hooks left, the 2 teeth on either side of your front teeth. On my bottom, I only have the 2 very front ones still with hooks. Sooooo you guessed it, I have them all looped in a giant rubber band trapezoid. Who brought the cool kid?? Oh that's right I did. Thankfully the back set of rubber bands are not in. Those will be a triangle on each side.....Have no fear, I will be getting those in 7 weeks in addition to the trapezoid from hell....hahahaha....
Anyways, another lack luster trip to the orthodontist with no promise of being freed anytime in the near future. Its not looking promising for being released this spring, but you never know.
On the plus side I think I am getting a car tomorrow! Woot woot!! New ride here I come! And I promise to all 5 of my readers that I will never drive when I am tired again.
Have a great weekend!
I went to visit my friends at Amherst Ortho today. I haven't seen them in a while. I am sure they missed me. I was a bit nervous about what kind of contraption they were going to put in my mouth this time....and thankfully they did NOT disappoint.
Before I divulge into that fun let me explain my bite now...I now have 2 bites. Yes 2. One is the functional bite and one is called some fancy name, or neutral. My functional bite is the one that everyone sees every day...the normal one where I would chew, and close my mouth at. Now the Neutral bite is for example when I sleep. For most people, this is the same as the other, for me not so much. My bite slides back. Why I don't know...I just know it does. Is it bad? Again I don't know. The orthodontist told me lots of people live with a dual bite and are fine. Whether or not I can is not the issue for me...I don't want to. I just had surgery to fix a crooked bite and now I end up with another issue?!?! How the hell does that work!? Anyways I don't know how someone would correct it, I know my orthodontist wanted my surgeon's number which can never be good. Watch me end up in there again....I'll even bet on it. Damn genetics...
So after that fun news, I get elastics. Oh yes....it wasn't going to be hey here's some cucky news, see ya in a few weeks...nooooooooooo. I was supposed to wear 3 elastics, but thankfully the orthodontist had some issues with my wire and broke a bunch of brackets so I only have one...but this one is a doozy. On my top I have 2 hooks left, the 2 teeth on either side of your front teeth. On my bottom, I only have the 2 very front ones still with hooks. Sooooo you guessed it, I have them all looped in a giant rubber band trapezoid. Who brought the cool kid?? Oh that's right I did. Thankfully the back set of rubber bands are not in. Those will be a triangle on each side.....Have no fear, I will be getting those in 7 weeks in addition to the trapezoid from hell....hahahaha....
Anyways, another lack luster trip to the orthodontist with no promise of being freed anytime in the near future. Its not looking promising for being released this spring, but you never know.
On the plus side I think I am getting a car tomorrow! Woot woot!! New ride here I come! And I promise to all 5 of my readers that I will never drive when I am tired again.
Have a great weekend!
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